Confusion hits people of all ages and comes from all directions. For young children, confusion can stem from an unstable home life. For the elderly, it may be a sign of a medical problem. But the kind of confusion I am concerned with here arises from an unanswered question. It’s a core question every man is asking, if not his in words, then by his behavior. Every man is asking if he has what it takes to be a man. The answer he comes up with depends on who he asks. And the answer he gets will decide whether or not he gets back up on his feet when he is knocked down, how well he heals when he loses a piece of his heart, and how long he will linger at life’s window waiting for his daddy to come home.

My father was knocked out only once in his boxing career. And apparently once was enough. He quit the ring after going 23-6-2 as a pro. Thankfully, he had other options. He went to night school and became an aeronautical engineer. Meanwhile, Big Dan fought on. He won 15, lost 34 and drew three times. He decked twelve of his 52 opponents, but he hit the canvas 14 times himself. Like my dad, he lost his last fight by KO. He took off his gloves at age 29 and he died 33 years later from a stroke related to “pugilist’s dementia,” which basically means he’d been punched in the head about a thousand times too many. I never met Big Dan, but I want to believe he was a good man. It’s sad to think he spent more than half his life “punch drunk,” living in a state of confusion until the day he died, all because he couldn’t keep himself away from the cause of his confusion.